Part 1 - Self Acceptance Skills

Chapter 7 - THREE WAYS TO GIVE YOURSELF ENCOURAGEMENT

Kim made a botch of fixing the screen door and was disgusted: 'I can never get anything right!' The self-talk made Kim feel like throwing it all in and never trying again, Discouraged.

'Never mind, have another go' or 'I'd better find out how to do it properly' felt much better. This self-talk encouraged Kim to try again.

You've possibly never thought to give yourself encouragement. We wait for others to do it for us. But there's only one person who can give you all the encouragement you want and at any time — you! And there's only one person who can know just the words you want to hear — you! Even loving family and friends aren't always with you and don't always say the right words.

Boost your own confidence with encouraging words. You'll still want to have encouragement from others but you don't have to have it. When kind words from others are a bonus, there's more joy in being with them.

Give yourself encouragement and when you don't get enough from others it's no tragedy. 'It's survivable', as a group member said.

Three practical ways to give yourself encouragement are to:

• turn discouraging self-talk into encouragement
• turn self-rating into self-acceptance
• break large chores and worries into bite-size pieces.

Turn discouraging self-talk into encouragement

Poke the hard end of a feather into your hand and you give yourself pain. The soft end gives you comfort and pleasure. You can do the same with your thinking — you can be hard on yourself or give yourself comfort and pleasure.