Fights aren't the only way to nurture your relationship. Another way is to keep in touch with each other. 'We do keep in touch,' you may say, 'we see each other every day. I know what she/he's doing and she/he knows what I'm doing'.
That's keeping in touch but mainly on the fact level. Your relationship 'thing' needs you to keep in touch both at head level and gut level, but particularly gut level, Use the facts of what happened as a trigger to tell each other your views and your feelings about it.
'It takes longer' you say? Correct. Relationships do take time. Eating takes time, brushing your teeth takes time. Couple talk takes time. It must be built into your life.
Keeping-in-touch time is relaxed, unhurried time when the two of you are together as a couple, listening and talking mainly about your thoughts and feelings. Telling not so much what you experienced as what those experiences mean to you, bringing each other up to date on what you now think and feel.
Let's look more closely at keeping in touch.
We change. Parts of us are always changing. Interests change, appearance and capacities change. Experiences affect you. You develop abilities, gain understanding, Your outlook changes. The same event a year earlier or a year later can mean different things to you. The relationship has to keep pace with these changes.
You and your partner have different input even on an ordinary day. Occasionally one of you has a large dose of input-the finn arranges a training course. Or one of you takes up a new interest and the other feels left out. Keep in touch and don't let the changes form a gap between you.
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We hope that you have enjoyed the first few pages above in this section of "Happiness - It's Up To You".
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