Part One covered Sabine's set of Self Acceptance skills for secure, inner confidence. You now know how to build your self-acceptance and feel good, no matter where you are or whom you're with. You therefore have the confidence to Be Yourself, to love and to accept love and to give-and-take.
When the Self Acceptance skills take hold, group members and clients happily report new ways of handling old situations- long before we even talk about assertiveness. They handle people and situations with the tact and appropriateness of a skilled diplomat. I am full of admiration for the sure judgement released in each person who acquires self-acceptance.
Your ability to say things in just the right way was inside you all the time, now you are able to use it.
Assertiveness training usually gives a set of instructions: 'This is what you do', like putting on your clothes. This book approaches assertiveness differently. First you build your self-acceptance-you accept yourself as you really are, and accept others as they really are. You make yourself happy and relaxed on the inside, As you grow sure of yourself you open out to those around you and your communication becomes assertive all by itself.
The communication skills in Part Two provide the finishing touches to the abilities and judgements that spring from your new self-acceptance. Your self-acceptance allows you to give your point of view without worrying whether others disagree with you- This is the basis for assertive behaviour.
'What do you want to learn to be aggressive for?' friends say when they hear of someone learning to be assertive. Like many people, they are not aware of the difference between assertive-ness and aggressiveness.
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We hope that you have enjoyed the first few pages above in this section of "Happiness - It's Up To You".
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