When things don't go the way we want, we blame. We blame with obvious shoulds: 'You should have thought of it' and with hidden shoulds: 'Why didn't you think of it?' We know we're blaming. Then there is blame so subtle we don't know we're blaming.
Whenever you use the everyday expressions 'He embarrassed me' and 'She made me feel guilty', you are blaming too-you are blaming one person for embarrassing you and another for making you feel guilty. It's a habit of speaking that hands control of your feelings over to others. You give them your heartstrings to pull and act as if you have no choice but to dance to their tune. Uncover the subtle blame and take back control of your own heartstrings.
it's your shoulds, because and labels that make you feel intimidated, embarrassed, irritated, uneasy and furious. Nothing and nobody can make you feel those negative feelings except you.
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We hope that you have enjoyed the first few pages above in this section of "Happiness - It's Up To You".
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