Part 1 - Self Acceptance Skills

Chapter 18 - STEP-BY-STEP TIPS (2)

We continue with tips for the rational Steps 3, 4, 5 and 6. In Step 3 you replace your should, because and label to turn it into a logical sentence.

Step 3(a): your should replacer

• Check that your should replacer really fits. Do you feel strongly about your should? Select a replacer equally as strong. Ask yourself, is it strong enough?

• Look for a second should- Don't turn I must not make any mistakes' into 'I would prefer not to make any mistakes' that's still too ambitious. It's a hidden should. It must be realistic all the way. How many mistakes can you realistically expect to make? Set yourself a number: 'I would prefer not to make more than four typing errors in one letter'. If your work improves, set yourself a fresh number to aim for, Keep the should replacer part of the sentence true to life. Say what you really want and check that it feels right to you.

One full set of six-step sentences went like this:

Embarrassed, anxious

I must not make any mistakes because if I do, it makes me an incompetent, worthless person.

I would prefer not to make more than six mistakes a day but if I do, it cannot make me an incompetent, worthless person. It really means that I am human, and I accept myself with my mistakes, And I will do the best I can.

I feel better and more relaxed.

Make sure the rational replacement sentence is completely pressure-free. If it's not, try another should replacer or check for a hidden should.