Part 1 - Self Acceptance Skills

Chapter 17 - STEP-BY-STEP TIPS TO MAKE IT WORK (1)

The more you know about shoulds and labels, the easier it is to make the Six-step Method work. Steps 1 and 2 in this chapter explain the illogical, irrational reasoning. The next chapter explains steps 3 to 6 — the logical, rational reasoning.

If you've written through the six steps and your unwanted feelings did not ease down in one go, check through the explanations in these two chapters for tips on how to keep on the right track.

Step 1: Your starting feelings

Use the list of Unwanted feelings' and put down all your unwanted, negative feelings about one incident.

Step 2(a): Get your should right

When you're writing your shoulds, keep in mind:

• the spaghetti bowl of shoulds
• four tips for shoulds.

The spaghetti bowl of shoulds

Quite often there are two or more shoulds and you must write a Six-step sentence for each should if the unwanted feelings are to disappear. It's like tackling a bowl of spaghetti — the strands are tangled together and must be pulled out separately, one at a time.

Fred felt bitter. His girlfriend had broken off with him and was going out with his best friend. He found his first should and dealt with his bitterness, but was still distressed and discovered another should. Having dealt with that, he found yet another should!