Part 1 - Self Acceptance Skills

Chapter 16 - SIX-STEP METHOD IN PRACTICE

Imagine you are sitting in one of my groups. I'm about to show on the board how to do the Six-step Method. You are studying the list of negative feelings.

Word-for-word explanation
>

Sabine Who's had something happen that you want to use as an example?

Rosa; I have.

Sabine What's the feeling you want to ease down?

Rosa; Guilt. I feel guilty. I should visit my relatives and see them more often.

Sabine Is 'guilty' the only feeling for this particular should?

Rosa; No, there's more feelings: pressure, defensive I think, putdown, frustrated, and throw in resenting.

Sabine We've written up the unwanted feelings, that's Step 1. Step 2 starts with a should. You mentioned two shoulds: should visit your relatives and should see them more often. Which pressure should do you want to put?

Rosa; I should visit my relatives.

Sabine Right. Now you put 'because if'. You connect it with your should, that makes it 'because if I don't'.

Rosa; Because if I don't they get upset and they say 'Where were you?'
Sabine Come back to the words 'because if I don't'. That's all you put here. I know you want to go on and say what happens, but that's not part of this step. Just keep it to the four little words.

Rosa; All right.

Sabine Now we have 'I should visit my relatives because if I don't. . .' That takes us to the self-labels. You put 'It makes me. . .' and then you fill in your self-labels to do with 'I should visit my relatives', These are special labels that I call button self-labels, You believe they're 'proof' that you are totally unworthy, even though that's neither true nor logical. There are few pains greater than the pain of worthlessness, so get your buttons down on paper and get rid of them in the next step. Have a look at the list of button self-labels. Pick out all the buttons that go with this sentence.

.
.
.

We hope that you have enjoyed the first few pages above in this section of "Happiness - It's Up To You".

To continue reading please purchase the book from a shop or order online.

Sabine	Who's had something happen that you want to use as an example?
Rosa;	I have.
Sabine	What's the feeling you want to ease down?
Rosa;	Guilt. I feel guilty. I should visit my relatives and see them more often.
Sabine	Is 'guilty' the only feeling for this particular should?
Rosa;	No, there's more feelings: pressure, defensive I think, putdown, frustrated, and throw in resenting.
Sabine	We've written up the unwanted feelings, that's Step 1. Step 2 starts with a should. You mentioned two shoulds: should visit your relatives and should see them more often. Which pressure should do you want to put?
Rosa;	I should visit my relatives.
Sabine	Right. Now you put 'because if'. You connect it with your should, that makes it 'because if I don't'.
Rosa;	Because if I don't they get upset and they say 'Where were you?'
Sabine	Come back to the words 'because if I don't'. That's all you put here. I know you want to go on and say what happens, but that's not part of this step. Just keep it to the four little words.
Rosa;	All right.
Sabine	Now we have 'I should visit my relatives because if I don't. . .' That takes us to the self-labels. You put 'It makes me. . .' and then you fill in your self-labels to do with 'I should visit my relatives', These are special labels that I call button self-labels, You believe they're 'proof' that you are totally unworthy, even though that's neither true nor logical. There are few pains greater than the pain of worthlessness, so get your buttons down on paper and get rid of them in the next step. Have a look at the list of button self-labels. Pick out all the buttons that go with this sentence.