Part 1 - Self Acceptance Skills

Chapter 15 - SABINE'S SIX-STEP METHOD (2)

You've written Step 1 (your unwelcome feeling/s) and Step 2 (the illogical, unrealistic should, because and labels that bring on the unwelcome feelings). Now we come to Steps 3 to 6.

Step 3 makes for more pleasant feelings as you write the same sentence again, this time without the should, because and label to make it logical and realistic.

Step 3

Take out the should, because and label/s to drain them of their power over your feelings:

• the pressure should gets a should replacer, e.g. 'He should not criticise me' becomes 'It would be nice if he did not criticise me'
• 'because if. . .' turns into 'but if. . .' (or 'and if. . .'), e.g. 'but if he does,'
• 'it makes me. . .' becomes 'it cannot make me. . .', e.g. 'it cannot make me a bad parent or a failure.'

Do away with your pressure should

Chapters 11 and 12 talked about draining the pressure from pressure shoulds with should replacers. As before, use a should replacer that exactly matches your mood.

Do away with 'because'

What happened can't cause you to be a worthless person like 'a bad parent or a failure', so do away with the word 'because'. Put 'but' (or 'and') in its place.

Do away with your button self-labels

The easy way to do away with your button self-labels is to slot....